DAAS

Skinhead Skippy

Skippy's all grown up he's not a joey anymore
    He's interested in getting pissed and passing out on the floor, Oi!
    He glassed Mat Hammond with a bottle of stout
    And threw a dart in Sonny's eyes before he ripped it out
    Who's that walking on air?
    Bouncing down the street without a care?

    It's skin head Skippy, the killer kangaroo, Oi!
    With blood soaked bovver boots and a racist attitude
    A mean fucking mother's son
    Not afraid of anyone
    Got the others on the run
    Here he comes, here he comes
    Skippy the skin, Oi!
    Tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, Oi!

    Skippy's got a tattoo and he's gone and shaved his head
    He's dating wallabies half his age
    And getting them into bed
    He says his old friends are all miserable pricks
    They're married now or dead and gone
    Or mentally sick
    Who's that walking on air?
    Bouncing down the street without a care?

    Well Benji got the snip and tuck and now he's sniffing glue
     oh shit that's great Flicka
    Milo and Otis died at least eight times over
    aah, woof, meow, oh, ah, doh, oh - that's eight
    Rin Tin Tin blindly humps the leg of his owner
    Hey Rin Tin Tin, what's that tune
    Last Post. Damn, splinter! Ow!
    Flipper became sushi
    Mr. Ed loves drag
    Lassie's a transvestite
    And Gentle Ben, Gentle Ben's a fag
    Who's causing havoc on the docks?
    In a pair of bright red braces and cherry red docs!

    It's skin head Skippy the fascist kangaroo
    With a blood soaked Stanley knife
    And a racist attitude
    He'll wait until you're all alone
    Crack your skull, break your bones
    Send the pieces to your home
    He's the one
    All in fun
    Skippy the skin-head
    Oi, oi, oi, oi, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, Oi!

The Worlds best kisser

    I'm wet and I'm moist
    So come on let's rejoice
    In the birds, the bees, the fillies and the colts
    And the fact that we are all young adults (hi baby, how are you?)

    And lie back on your couch
    After this there'll be no doubt
    I don't care if you're a Miss or a Missus
    You done been squelched by the world's best kisses

    Ho, ho, sit up straight and pout
    I'll suck your face until I pull your molars out
    A tongue so grand you'll call me more than friend
    One kiss from this and you'll never brush your teeth again
    (and you know it's true, mate)

    Well go back to your husband now
    Tell him you done broke your vow
    Stand proud and say "Hey Mister,
    I've just been kissed by the world's best kisser"

    Ho, ho, sit up straight and pout
    I'll suck your face until I pull your wisdoms out
    A tongue so long it really grows and grows
    Put it in your mouth and it'll clean out your nose

    I've only kissed one girl before
    My Grandma on the kitchen floor
    She dribbled and grinned and said "Hey Kid,
    You taught me things your Grandpa never did"

    She added there'd be hell to pay
    If Ma found out we'd gone astray
    So hurry Paul, go and get some sleep
    You finally got a skill to teach the sheep

    Hey, hey, calm down and pucker up
    These lips are strong enough to stop a truck
    A tongue so long, it really packs a punch
    One kiss from this
    And I'll know what you had for lunch
    One kiss from this
    And I'll know what you had for lunch
    Yesterday

Maria.

    I love, a girl called Maria,
    Her name is Maria
    They call her Mari, Mari
    Mari, Mari, Maria.

    She loves a guy who's a maori
    A New Zealand maori
    Yes, he's a maori, maori
    Maori, maori, maori

    They sailed
    A kayak down the Murray
    A kayak down the Murray
    Down the Murray
    Murray, Murray, Murray.

    They love pasta marinara
    Pasta marinara
    They love their mari
    Mari, mari, marinara.

    They skipped
    Through a field of marigolds
    A field of marigolds
    A field of mari,
    Mari, mari, marigolds

    They said
    One day they would marry
    One day they would marry
    Yes they'd marry,
    Marry, marry, marry, marry.

    Sadly they DIED this afternoon
    CHA-CHA-CHA!

   Funk You.

    I don't know much about ART but I can tell you this
    Duchamps's Urinal is a piece of piss
    Van Gogh cut off his ear to spite his face (So What)
    Me, I've got a message for the whole human race
    I want to be a phallic symbol like the Tower of Pisa
    And wipe the smile off smile off the face of that bitch, the Mona Lisa
    I'll date Botticelli's Venus, just to tease her
    But unless you're hung like a Jackson Pollock
    You couldn't please her!

    Funk you and funk your mother
    Funk your sister, funk your auntie
    And funk your little brother
    When you've learnt how to funk one another
    Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf
    Go home to the one you love and
    Funk yourself

    As Gallileo said, "And yet it moves"
    While Oppenheimer splits the atom
    And Newton finds the groove
    But me, I agree with Einstein
    Who put it so much simpler
    I want it to end as it began
    With one BIG BANG, not a whimper!

    Funk you, funk quantum physics
    When you've proved their theory's wrong
    You can go and funk the cynics
    Take a proton pill as you butt-funk the critics
    You're E=MC squared (That's your life)
    Well funk your buddy and
    Funk your wife

    Sexual psychology fasinates me more than art or science
    I've attempted intercourse with every household appliance
    A girl came to my clinic, I guess you'd call her a client
    She wouldn'y shake my hand which I found so defiant
    I said, "My Psychoanalyst is gonna love you
    'Cause you look just like my sister"
    She said "But I've got no arms
    And armless girls cannot play twister"
    She tried to take my pants off with her teeth
    But her stiff upper lip got caught in the metal zip

Doin' Drugs

    [Chorus]
      Please get out of the toilet my man
      Hell no, I'm doing drugs
      Please get out of the toilet my man
      Oh no, let me do my drugs

    Came to the disco with half a gram of go go
    Cut with baking soda
    Saw my girl with the one kiss curl
    She's a pusher, I think you know her
    Got my straw, found my score
    Now just give me a few minutes more

[Chorus]

    Tweedledum and Tweedledee
    There's a mushroom growin' inside of me
    A pill makes you big, a pill makes you small
    You're so tiny, I'm so tall
    Who are you, don't you ask
    You're just a pain in the looking glass

[Chorus]

    You can find romance or piss in your pants
        (Tweedledum and Tweedledee)
    Let's leave it up to fate, mate
        (There's a mushroom growin' inside of me)
    You're a drunken bore
        (A pill makes you big, a pill makes you small)
    So let's lock the door
        (You're so tiny, I'm so tall)
    Let me get this line straight
        (Who are you, don't you ask)
    I've been waiting all night
        (You're just a pain in the looking glass)
    To powder my nose
    Lord don't stop me, Thar she blows

[Chorus]

    Ah, ah, ah
    D d d d d d d d d d d
    Drugs

When I Get Famous.

    When I get famous
    There'll be so many people want to know me
    So if you want to know me right now
    You'd better make some kind of an effort

    When I get famous there'll be so many people
    Clambering to touch my hands
    I don't care if the love ain't real
    I just want to know that feel

      I want someone to love me
      I want someone to love me
      Because you rejected me
      You rejected me

    But when I get famous there'll be
    So many people want to know me
    I'll be able to pick and choose
    You'll just be one in a line

    When I get famous there'll be so many people
    Clambering to touch my finger tips
    I don't care if the love ain't real
    I just want to know that feel

      I want someone to love me
      I want someone to love me (slag mole bitch)
      Because you rejected me
      You rejected me

But when I get famous there'll be
So many people want to know me

Cancer.

    Mel-a-noma come on over
    Come and cover me in scabs
    Put freckles all across my face
    But moles across my back
    Melanomas are just tumours
    Tiny kisses from the sun
    We're here to say to everyone that
    Cancer can be fun

    Well
        (Oh shit)
    Cancer took her left arm
        (Left are you fucking idiot. It's spreading!)
    Her right lung and her leg
    She'd love a cigarette, now
        (I'd love a cigarette now, please)
    But she's got no mouth to beg
        ( Oh, um: I'd love a cigarette now, please)
    She's had a uterine prolapse
        ( A what? Uterine, oh a couple of nurses there, that's good to
        see. Well darling how can I explain, Mummy's grown a tail)
    She's covered in bed sores
    But I've heard that girls like yourself
    Are popular in bars

    Wellllll
    Cancer is the answer
    It'll get you in the end
    It'll rot your bowel and bile duct
    And then kill all your friends
    The body is a transport
    It's temporal and corrupt
    And AIDS is just another way
    Of telling you you're fuuuuuuuucked
    Hey!

The Dead Elvis

    I was floating through the cemetery late last night
    When I saw a ghost who was outta sight
    He said 'Down in the graveyard there's a party going on
    So get down (get down) six feet
    And sing a spiritual song
    Everyone's invited we would be delighted
    If you grabbed your favourite corpse and came along'

    [Chorus]
      You don't move your arms and don't move your legs
      You just do the Dead Elvis
      You don't grind your pelvis it's the dance of the dead
      You just do the Dead Elvis

    Your old hound dog's sniffin' at your tomb
    Tryin' to find a bone that ain't been consumed
    You can't jailhouse rock in your blue suede shoes
    You just do (do do) the Dead Elvis

    I bet you're lonesome tonight in your hole in the ground
    Old Shep's all shook up and he's pissed on your crown
    No one's crying in the chapel, so get wise (get hip)
    There's some pretty heavy shit going down and you're it

    Priscilla was delighted
    All Dallas was invited
    To poke fun a your corpse and kick your dog

[Chorus]

    It was a terrible day, when you had your cardiac arrest
    They tried to find your heart but couldn't cut through the flesh
    You can't Viva Las Vegas when there's no viva left
    You just do do do
    The Dead Elviiiiiiiiis
    You're dead Elvis

Commies For Christ.

    My tag's Tall Tim
        (no need to shout)
    I said that's my name
        (so don't wear it out)
    You see me here, I'm running hot
    I'm a juicy hamburger 'cos I got the lot
    I got a bone the size of a Tyrannosaurus Rex
    Only one thing, I want your sex

    My name is Tricky Ricky, if the situation's sticky
    Then I'm your man, I got a plan
    I used to be a brickie
    I don't give a damn about what you say
    And if you don't like that you'd better walk this way
        (Rock it Tricky Ricky, gonna rock it to the left
         Rock it Tricky Ricky, gonna rock it to the right)

    My name is Paul, I'm the best of all
    'Cos I'm in your face like a can of mace
        (bullshit!)
    I'm a groove lick, love child, king of the verse
    You mess with me boy, you leave in a hearse

    Your God is a nothing God
    Is a mealy mouthed God
    Is a weak arsed God
    My God is a really tough God
    Is a straight line God
    Is a good ole boy
    Your God drinks peach nectar
    Eats boiled fruit
    Can't fart out loud
    My God arm wrestled Khruschev
    Eats meat, farts with pride
    Hey, Hey

    Commies for Christ
    Hammers and sickles and the word's not flesh - it's steel
    Commies for Christ
    'Cos he's the man that carved the lamb - and made us feel
    Commies for Christ
    I'm having a sexual fling with a red under my bed
    Commies for Christ
    Drank too much altar wine, it's gone straight to my head

Take Marx, take Christ, take drugs
Take Marx, take Christ, take dr dr dr dr dr drugs

    My God is a vengeful God
    Is Cecil B. de Mille
    He kills for the fun of it
        (Rep rep repetition, rep rep repetition, yo, yo)
    Your God been around for too long
    Can't get down, is an aging hippy
        (Hippy, hippy, skippy, skippy)
        (Tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch)
    God, Hey

    Commies for Christ
    Go get some long knives to carve up these loaves and fishes
    Commies for Christ
    Support the cause or else someone could get vicious
    Commies for Christ
    'Cos he's the word you've heard - The truth, the light, the way
    My God ain't risen, 'cos he's sleepin' in today

    Take Marx, take Christ, take drugs
    Take Marx, take Christ, take drugs
    Commies for C C C CC CCC Coca Cola
    Amen